Pregnancy, Postpartum and Parenting

There is no one right way to experience new parenthood. It can be a beautiful and tender experience while also being a distressing and worry-filled experience. Our culture celebrates pregnancy and babies yet doesn't prepare women and their partners for this profound life change.

Many new moms experience challenges, doubt, extreme hormonal shifts and emotional highs/lows during this transition. It takes time to recover both emotionally and physically from pregnancy and giving birth.

Why can't I relax and enjoy my baby? Why am I having such a hard time? Motherhood is not what I imagined. I’m not cut out for being a mom. My life felt more in control prior to giving birth.

Postpartum mood and anxiety challenges can impact any parent, not just the parent who carried and gave birth. Dads, nonbiological lesbian moms, two-dad families using a GC, and adoptive parents may also experience difficulties with the postpartum adjustment.

You can have a more fulfilling new parent experience where you don’t feel so overwhelmed. As a parent of a young child myself, I get it. I understand the immense psychological and physical life change that parenthood brings. I am here to support you in adjusting to this major life transition, and focus on postpartum wellness.

Support for
New Parents

Caring for a newborn is not always easy or what we expected; there are many unanticipated changes that occur. The first few months can be filled with complex, changing feelings (joy, confusion, hope, sadness, delight, worry, frustration, connection, guilt, disappointment, loneliness and ambivalence), all while sleep deprived and learning the overwhelming realities of newborn care and infant schedules. Perfectionistic tendencies, lack of support, unrealistic expectations and partner relationship shifts can heighten intense emotions. The myth of this being a time filled with happiness, easy breastfeeding, natural bonding and innate maternal instinct may increase postpartum anxiety and depression. 

It is also helpful to focus on the process of becoming a parent. Birthing moms and primary caregivers may experience identity shifts, attachment concerns, loss of independence, relationship adjustments, isolation, confusion regarding the return to work, and grief for the loss of the previous life mixed with hope for what's to come. Partners may experience low caregiving confidence, relationship challenges, feelings of exclusion, guilt re being pulled between work and parenting responsibilities, and grief and loss related to their previous life.

‘Motherhood' is a multidimensional construct. There exists a diversity of motherhood experiences besides just the heteronormative, birthing mother experience. While navigating this major life transition, there is a need for any new parent to feel safe and not judged. It is also essential to take care of yourself. If you are having difficulty adjusting to pregnancy or new parenthood, or you have not been feeling like yourself, please talk about it. Learn about the various postpartum concerns and get support.

Support for Parents: Toddlers and School Age to Teens & Young Adults

Parenting keeps us on our toes - we feel settled and catch our breath and then things change quickly as children constantly continue to develop and grow. The full arc of parenting brings challenges - from toddlerhood to school age children, to parenting teens and young adults. Being a good parent doesn’t have to mean burnout and reaching your limit. Unrealistic expectations, which may be self-imposed or influenced by social media, can impact parenting satisfaction. So can the loss of control as growing children strive for independence. Parenthood is a demanding, stressful time. You can find ways to keep it from running you down or depleting all joy. Self care and protecting your own time are key. Reach out for support as needed.

Parent Self-Care

  • Know that what you are feeling is very common for parents.

  • Talk to your partner, friends or family about what you are going through.

  • Utilize support systems for emotional support or help with caregiving.

  • Be kind to yourself. Caregiving is hard work. You will start to feel more confident.

  • Expect complex feelings around this life change. It may take some time to reconnect to yourself.

  • Make sure that you have some periods of downtime for yourself.

  • Challenge negative/critical or unsupportive thoughts.

  • Make sleep a priority. Get help for night shifts and discuss sleep concerns with your doctor.

  • Get outside. Take a daily walk in nature during pregnancy and later with your baby or child.

  • Join a support group to normalize feelings and connect with other expectant or new parents.

  • Limit social media use. Reduce comparison to others.